3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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