Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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