You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
