How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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