I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
