So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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