I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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