he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
