Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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