I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
