Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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