i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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