real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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