It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
