i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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