Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
