dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
