Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
