hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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