Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
