if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
