I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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