oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
