She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
