That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
