so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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