I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
