yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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