guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I AM VODKA MAN
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
