I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize