I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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