at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
