I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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