I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
