if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
