If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize