Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
