On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
