i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
