I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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