I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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