I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
