Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
