The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
