We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i'm inner monologue high
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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