brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize