The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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