Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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