So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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