You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i believe in u and ur pee
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