1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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