tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
