You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
