I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
