then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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