Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
