this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
