I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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