Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I cut my penus on the lid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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