You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
