i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
