Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
