Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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