No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
